Don’t do it… He wants you here

Ok lets address the elephant in the room. I’m sorry you went through that- the name calling, the subtle digs and the not so subtle digs, the punches, the kicks and the injuries.

I’m sorry for the sitting alone at lunch because no one wanted to hang out with you, for not being invited to the parties because you weren’t cool enough.

I’m sorry for the person you really liked only pretended they liked you back. 

I’m sorry for the guy who made you grow up too quickly.

I’m sorry for the fear you felt when the person who is meant to love and care for you the most, your parent or step-parent placed terror in your heart. 

I’m sorry for you having to become the “parent” at 7 years old and being tasked with looking after a home and being the fixer to adults problems and drama.

I’m sorry for you having to play both mother and father to your children, the late nights, the early mornings, the school runs and holding down a job. 

I’m sorry that you only find comfort at the bottom of a vodka bottle, when smoking weed or at a line of coke. 

I’m sorry for the lonely days and lonely nights when all you can do is internally cry out for the mental and emotional pain to end.

I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve it. 

If you resonated with any of the above, then you may be thinking your family and friends would be better off without you. Me and my family have been affected by suicide attempts and suicide, so I know first hand that no one will be better off without you. I know they will miss you and they will spend almost every waking hour questioning what they could have done differently to save you. From experience, I know it will be life changing for them. You may be thinking that you are just tired of it all and you want the pain to stop. Whatever plan you think will make it stop it won’t… so don’t do it. 

Depression, anxiety and mental health disorders

“Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”- Ecclesiastes 1:2

Now I want to make my position very clear, the spiritual world is real and mental health IS REAL too. Yes some people can be demonically possessed and oppressed (I talk about the difference in my It’s War post) AND some people develop mental health conditions because of trauma that they have experienced in their lives. Others develop it through genetics and generational trauma (see my post It Can End With You post ). A diagnosed mental health condition doesn’t mean demonic possession. 

Traumatic events can shape a whole person’s life. These events can span from the death of a loved one to feeling neglected as a young child. 

Unhealed trauma can lead to depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Complex PTSD as well as other mental health disorders. This is why it is important to look into the route cause of why you have the symptoms you do or why you react to situations in the way you do. 

Depression

“I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears”. - Psalm 6:6

According to the NHS the symptoms for depression are:

• continuous low mood or sadness

• feeling hopeless and helpless

• having low self-esteem

• feeling tearful

• feeling guilt-ridden

• feeling irritable and intolerant of others

• having no motivation or interest in things

• finding it difficult to make decisions

• not getting any enjoyment out of life

• feeling anxious or worried

• having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself

• Physical symptoms

• moving or speaking more slowly than usual

• changes in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)

• constipation

• unexplained aches and pains

• lack of energy

• low sex drive (loss of libido)

• disturbed sleep – for example, finding it difficult to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning

• avoiding contact with friends and taking part in fewer social activities

• neglecting your hobbies and interests

• having difficulties in your home, work or family life

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

According to the NHS the symptoms for PTSD are: 

• Re-experiencing

This is when a person involuntarily and vividly relives the traumatic event in the form of:

• flashbacks

• nightmares

• repetitive and distressing images or sensations

• physical sensations, such as pain, sweating, feeling sick or trembling

• Some people have constant negative thoughts about their experience, repeatedly asking themselves questions that prevent them coming to terms with the event.

Hyperarousal (feeling "on edge")

Someone with PTSD may be very anxious and find it difficult to relax. They may be constantly aware of threats and easily startled. This state of mind is known as hyperarousal.

Hyperarousal often leads to:

• irritability

• angry outbursts

• sleeping problems (insomnia)

• difficulty concentrating

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

According to the NHS the symptoms for C-PTSD similar to PTSD but also include: 

• feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt

• problems controlling your emotions

• finding it hard to feel connected with other people

• relationship problems, like having trouble keeping friends and partners

Causes of complex PTSD

Complex PTSD may be caused by experiencing recurring or long-term traumatic events, for example:

• childhood abuse or neglect

• domestic violence

• sexual abuse

• torture, sex trafficking, or slavery

• War

You may also be more likely to develop complex PTSD if:

• you experienced trauma at a young age

• you were harmed by someone close to you who you trusted

• you were unable to escape the trauma

Anxiety

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”. - 1 Peter 5:7

The main symptom is anxiety is stress and worry that affect your daily life and you find it difficult to control. According to the NHS other symptoms are: 

• difficulty sleeping

• feeling restless, irritable or finding it difficult to concentrate

• getting tired easily

• feeling tense

• stomach problems

• a more noticeable or unusual heartbeat (palpitations)

• feeling lightheaded or dizzy

• low mood or depression

This isn’t new

“I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life”. - 1 Kings 19:4

There is a trend at the moment to try and convince people that mental health disorders don’t exist and it’s all new age jargon. This isn’t true. The prophet Elijah suffered from a bout of what we now call depression and wanted to end his life. 

Now in case you don’t know, here is the backstory of Elijah. Elijah was a prophet who was given the assignment from God to challenge a corrupt King Ahab and the nation of Israel for worshipping Baal instead of God. This led to Ahab and 450 prophets of the false god Baal challenging Elijah to see which god was more powerful, their false god or the one and only true God. The challenge was that the prophets had to prepare a bull for sacrifice and Elijah would do the same BUT neither camp could use fire to light the sacrifice. They had to rely on their god to light the fire. 

Long story short, the false god Baal didn’t set fire to their sacrifice but God, the Lord did light Elijah’s and it was powerful fire. The people present then bowed and declared the Lord as God. God commanded that the prophets of the false god had to be killed, Elijah obeyed and they died. This angered King Ahab’s wife Jezabel (Jezabel was an evil woman. You may hear some say that some people today have the Jezabel spirit- they are talking about this Jezabel). As a result Jezabel vowed to kill Elijah. 

Fearing for his life, Elijah ran into the wilderness. He was depressed and frankly exhausted from it all. He cries out that it’s enough and he wants to die. He then asked the Lord to take his life. What did God do? He sent an angel to comfort him and feed him throughout the night. You can read about this in 1 Kings 17-19.

Elijah felt alone, lonely and isolated because he felt he was the only one who was truly worshipping God. He was fearful, tired and depressed and he wanted the mental and emotional pain to end… sound similar? This is how millions around the world feel all the time. 

God didn’t grant Elijah’s wish because only the devil wants us to end our lives because he wants us separated from God. God didn’t punish him for wanting to die. No, first God made Elijah sleep because sleep deprivation makes mental health issues worse. Then God sent an angel to touch Elijah, the physical touch reminded him that he wasn’t alone, which would also soothed him emotionally. Then God gave him something that would physically make him stay alive-  food and drink. God then made sure Elijah got more sleep. God did everything to keep Elijah alive. 

Isolation

“It is not good for the human to be alone” - Genesis 2:18

We are social creatures, we need to be around people in order to maintain good mental health. Elijah felt isolated because of his beliefs and the assignments God had given him. So once God got Elijah out of his initial crisis by caring for him. He then eventually gave Elijah a companion in the form of his mentee and successor, Elisha. Elisha was very loyal and refused to leave Elijah’s side.

Having community is so important for our mental health, science shows this and God wants this for us. People who genuinely know you and care about you, will notice when your symptoms of depression or anxiety are presenting. They will be able to just be there for you, so you know you aren't alone. So make time to catch up with friends and family in-person. 

If you genuinely have no one in your life that you want to be part of your community, then work on creating a new community. Sign up for a class or group on a subject you find interesting, if you get on with work colleagues ask one or two of them to join you for lunch or if you go to church think about attending their bible study.

If you feel that you aren’t ready to socialise in-person then consider online groups, where you meet via video so you have to speak to each other, rather than type. Again this can be online hobby groups or an online bible study group. There are online bible study groups that aren’t even linked to a particular church, just believers meeting and over a shared interest. You can then build up to in-person socialisation. 

Remember the devil wants us to always be isolated, so he can feed us lies about ourselves that will go unchallenged, when there is no community around us to tell us the devil is lying. 

Die to self

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17

There is a term in Christianity called “die to self”, it means the old you dies when you confess that Jesus is your Lord and Saviour. When you do this, also confessing and repenting (turning away from) your sins the old you dies and you are born again. You feel different, lighter and more content. God’s grace has lifted your burdens. 

Now the devil is a crafty liar and he tells the worst kind of lies. The devil uses deceit which is when part of the truth is concealed or some truth is mixed in with a lot of lies. Satan did this with Jesus, when he tried to trick Jesus into killing himself. This is what happened:

“Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,  and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” -  Matthew 4:5-6

In case you don’t know, the devil was quoting scripture to Jesus, he was quoting Psalm 91. This is why you should not trust that every person who can quote scripture has fully surrendered to Christ because the devil knows scripture too and he hates God. 

Anyway, back to the devil trying to make Jesus take his own life. The devil deliberately concealed the next sentences in Psalm 91 which are “You will tread on the lion and the cobra;  you will trample the great lion and the serpent”.  The animals listed represent the believers fears, scary problems or their enemies. The serpent also represents the devil. 

The devil deliberately concealed these sentences because he knew that Jesus had a purpose and assignment. The devil didn’t know exactly what it was because only God knows the full details of anyone’s future. However, the devil knew Jesus had something to do for good and the devil wanted to stop Jesus from completing this. Therefore, he didn’t want Jesus to know the power he had to “trample” and destroy the devil. The devil just wanted to trick Jesus into jumping to his death. Obviously this didn’t work, as Jesus answered back with scripture because not only did Jesus read and know the word (scripture) but Jesus is the Word (John 1:1). 

"Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”" - John 3:3

The devil is still doing this, he is using the term “die to self” and creates deception around it. As I said earlier “die to self” means getting rid of our sinful desires, when we give our life to Christ. It means getting rid of the ungodly spirit in us, then being born again and receiving the Holy Spirit and finally feeling free from past pain and past bad habits. We live as our “new self”. The devil has corrupted “die to self” and has sadly convinced people that to finally feel free from past pain and bad habits they need to literally die by killing themselves- and this makes me very angry. The devil does this for two reasons:

1. He wants the person to not accomplish their assignments, for good, that God has placed over their lives. This can be anything from making a positive change in society through their actions, to being a loving parent to their children.

   
   

2. He wants you separated from God. 

Get help

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”. - Ephesians 6:12

Throughout this post I’ve discussed both the health side and spiritual side and I believe they are intertwined. Therefore if you are having a tough time at the moment I think it's important to get help that will help you improve both mentally and spiritually. The one will complement the other. 

Therapy

As I mentioned earlier unresolved trauma usually leads to mental health issues to varying degrees. It is important to explore these past events. If you can afford it then it is good to explore your trauma with a professional to aid your healing. They can help you safely explore your past trauma and give you the tools to move forward with your life.

If you are Christian reading this, then I know some Christians will say that you don’t need to see anyone and God is enough. I just want to point out that God created therapists, including Christian therapists and doctors for a reason…

Support groups and helplines

If you can’t afford to see a therapist, then you may want to look at finding a relevant support group near you. There are a lot of groups around, there are groups for particular mental health conditions or for particular traumas and traumatic events. There are also specialist walking groups where people walk and talk about their issues with each other.

There are also helplines for people who feel suicidal, such as Samaritans and Papyrus. If you are feeling low, then there are text services such as Shout and they are all free to use.

Jesus 

"Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”- Deuteronomy 31:6

For the believer

If you already believe that Jesus is your Lord, then lean into Him when you have your dark moments. Keep talking to God the Father, in your prayers, through Jesus and tell Him that to can’t handle the emotional burden that you have. He can handle it so He will be with you as you go through it, protecting you from the devil’s lies and schemes, so you aren’t alone. 

Keep reading your Bible to remind you of the comfort, protection and healing that God can do, if you surrender to Him. He has already redeemed you so no matter what challenges you have He can help you overcome it and lead you to achieve great things in your life.

For the unbeliever

If you don’t know Jesus and you are sick of feeling alone, tired of being stuck in your trauma and you want the mental pain to end; then find comfort, heal from trauma and end your pain through Jesus. God loves you and has never left you, He is just waiting for you to find Him so he can restore you and give you true purpose in life. 

Like God did with Elijah, He can take your pain away and give you contentment and inner peace that you won’t find anyway else. 

For the believer and unbeliever

You may want the mental torture and pain to end but I know deep down that you want to stay here. Your family and friends want you to stay here, I want you to stay here and most importantly God wants you to stay here.