Meet you there

You know when you have a truly tough week? You could actually call it a horrible week. When you are sitting there thinking is this really happening because you know you’ve done nothing wrong, but the actions and words the person is saying to you are cutting you like a knife. You were totally blindsided by things happening and things that were said behind your back because it's all smiles when you are around. Well the start of the week was one of those weeks for me!

Well I say totally blindsided, which isn’t entirely true, there were some red flags, however the sheer amount of plotting was what I was blindsided by. When these things happen, not only is it upsetting, it is totally disorientating.

The night before what I unknowingly knew was to be the big “reveal”, I was led by the Holy Spirit to read the Book of John. I say I was led because before I started to read, I did a quick prayer asking God, which part of the Bible He would like me to read. Then I opened the Bible and it opened at John, chapter 4, so I started from there. 

I read about Jesus revealing that He is the Messiah to the Samaritan woman, I read about Jesus feeding the five thousand, I read about when Jesus walked on water, I read about when many of the disciples deserted Jesus. However the part that got my attention was when Jesus said this to His remaining disciples:

“You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee. However, after his brothers had left for the festival, he went also, not publicly, but in secret” - John 7:8-10

The festival

The disciples were going to the Festival of Tabernacles in Judea. Jesus didn’t want to go to Judea because the Jewish leaders there wanted to kill Him. The disciples said to Jesus that He should come with them to the festival so they and others could see Jesus perform more miracles. This was because at this point the remaining disciples still didn’t really believe in Jesus. However, their reasoning was that if Jesus wants to be a public figure then He can’t stay in secret. It was at this point Jesus told them why He wasn’t going to the festival, which was because He is hated by the world because He testifies that what they do and how they act is evil. He then tells the disciples to go to the festival because they aren’t hated by the world, like Jesus, because they don’t tell people these things… yet. 

What I find interesting is that Jesus said he testified that they do evil acts. The word testify, according to the Cambridge dictionary, means “ to say that something is true”, “prove that something is true” and “to speak seriously about something, esp. to tell what you know about a case in a court of law after you have officially promised to tell the truth”. Jesus didn’t say He gives the world his mere opinion that they commit evil acts. Jesus says that He can prove what He is saying to the world about their evil ways is true. Why is this? Because Jesus is the truth (John 14-6), He’s never sinned, therefore He has never lied. 

As I read it, I reflected and thought about the remaining disciples thinking that they were at the festival without their leader, teacher and their Lord (even though they didn’t fully understand at the time, they were in the presence of the Son of God). However, Jesus was with them at the festival, they just didn’t realise until Jesus decided to reveal Himself half way through the festival. Even though they thought they were alone at the festival because Jesus told them to go alone, they weren’t alone at all, Jesus was with them the whole time.

My encounter

A couple of days after my upsetting encounter, I was speaking to God during my prayer time about all that had happened. During this prayer, God reminded me of John 7:8-10, which was the scripture I had read just a couple of days prior. I felt that the Holy Spirit was reminding me of this scripture to highlight that during my situation, if it ever felt like God had sent me out to deal with it alone, that I wasn’t alone at all. Just like Jesus had gone to the festival secretly, The Holy Spirit was with me in the room, guiding me and protecting me. I truly believe that God led me to this scripture the night before everything that happened because He knew what was coming in less than 24 hours. It was a spiritual heads up. 

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been re-reading these sections of John and it made me think of all the things Jesus did leading up to the Festival of the Tabernacle. Jesus helped to spiritually free the Samaritan woman, then he fed the five thousand, He calmed rough sea waters for his disciples and He took the time to give them important teachings. What was the immediate result of all this? Many of his disciples left Him! Then at the festival most of the people there were gossiping and having secret conversations about whether Jesus was legit or not!

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him” - John 6-66.

 “Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, “He is a good man. Others replied, “No, he deceives the people.” But no one would say anything publicly about him” - John 7:12-13

Reflection 

It made me think again about my recent situation and also past situations with other people. I can be hurt and confused that I spent a lot of time pouring into people, genuinely caring about people who frankly didn’t deserve it from me. I then thought that in their rationality they would see it for what it is, just me being authentic, sincere and genuinely kind to them, which would lead to me receiving the same response back as a sign of respect. However, this isn’t what happened. Instead I was met with a disingenuous nature in them, trying to mislead others in order to discredit or belittle me. 

You might relate to this because you have also gone through this with people. I know a lot of people have. However, just remember that Jesus went through it too. Jesus more than poured into people, He taught them, He healed them, He removed demons from them, He performed miracles and they still rejected Him, they left Him, they lied about Him and they tried to discredit Him. 

The blue print

Jesus’ reaction is the blue print in how we should respond. Jesus didn’t let it stop him continuing on with His mission set by the Father. He still went to the festival and taught there. Yes, Jesus wasn’t a fool and He learnt from His experiences. He became more guarded, which showed in Him not announcing to everyone that He was going to the festival, for his own safety, this even applied to His remaining disciples because He knew they didn’t truly trust Him yet (John 7:5). Sometimes we have to do things in silence until God tells us to announce it, to prevent sabotage of His God given plans. 

Jesus also used his experiences with disingenuous people to create boundaries, He later created a stronger family-like bond with only three of his disciples, Peter, James and John. These were the men who he was most raw and open with. Only they saw the vulnerability, tears and the human-like worry in Jesus. 

Jesus Christ went through deception, rejection, slander and abandonment and He learnt from it. He put things in place to protect Himself from it, as much as the Father would allow Him to. He also forgave the people who hurt Him emotionally and physically, even if they didn’t deserve the forgiveness or never apologised to Him. All of this led to Jesus completing His ultimate mission, sacrificing Himself for us all, so we can have inner contentment, we don’t die in our sins and be separated from God forever when we die. Jesus has given us a way out, all we have to do is:

1. Accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour.

2. Admit and believe that Jesus Christ is our only way to God the father.

3. Confess and repent of our past sins.

4. Continue to repent of sinful actions when we do them.

5. Fully surrender your life to Jesus Christ, which will show to other people who you are around because your thoughts, your words and your actions will change from what they used to be.

   
   

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” - John 14:6

Where I’m at now

So to the person who upset and hurt me during this situation, I forgive them. Even though they aren’t sorry. I have to represent Christ every day, God saved my life in ways that go beyond words in a blog post and I’ll be eternally grateful and a servant to God- the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I am really nothing with God. So I forgave them the same day it all happened. 

Now remember, forgiveness is not forgetting what they did. Forgiveness is letting go, giving it to God who can deal with it and moving on for yourself. I forgive the person God originally created them to be because even if they choose to do actions that go against God’s will, God still loves the person He created, even if He doesn’t like their actions. Therefore, I have to show agape love to what God loves and I have to dislike what God dislikes. So, I forgive the person God created AND I don't forgive the ungodly actions that caused hurt, in fact I rebuke those actions in Jesus name. 

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” - Luke 23:34

I’m still human so I have allowed myself time to process my honest emotions about it all and will continue to do so. This will allow me to move on from this. We can’t spiritually bypass our emotions, God gave us emotions for a reason and He'll comfort us while we are honest about them and process them so we can heal.

“I cry to you for help, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety” - Psalm 61:2

Support system

As well as having God by my side, during this time, it made me appreciate having support from my loving immediate family, my husband and mother give the best advice (and hugs), also don’t underestimate the advice kids can give you, even when they don’t realise how inspiring it can be! It also makes you realise the true supportive friends that you have in your life. Love you all. 

So, with God, my family and a really good friend beside me during this time ❤, I was also reminded that as believers in Christ we really do have an army of angels around us during hard times. Regardless of the range of emotions I was feeling at the time, I always managed to maintain a deep sense of inner peace. I believe these were the angels sent to guard me and they were working alongside the Holy Spirit within me. I have only ever felt this sense of inner peace, when going through hard times, since finding Jesus Christ. I never felt it before coming to Christ. 

“And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha” - 2 Kings 6-17

“Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” - Matthew 26:53

God will meet you there

So if you are going through something similar, or you are coming out of the other side of the hurt, slander or another type of unexpected hard time and you have no idea how it ended up like this because you didn't do anything wrong. Just know that even if it feels like God sent you out to the situation alone, please remember that Jesus was there with you, through the Holy Spirit, observing it all and protecting you. Just like at the Festival of Tabernacles, He just quietly slipped in when you didn’t notice. 

P.S. As I was writing this, I was listening to music and this song came on. This song has bought me comfort during hard times, again another reminder from God that He is constantly with me. Take a listen, it might bring you some comfort or remind you that Christ is with you too: Firm Foundation - Maverick City Music [feat. Chandler Moore & Cody Carnes] LYRICS VIDEO