Why have you left me?

We finally did it! We are finally in the parents hall of fame for forgetting it was a non-uniform day! Yep, my husband and I forgot it was Comic Relief day and therefore a non-uniform day at school. For anyone reading this outside of the UK, Comic Relief is an annual day where there is an all evening charity telethon where money is raised to tackle poverty and social injustice. School children also wear their normal clothes on this day (UK schools have a school uniform) in exchange for a voluntary donation to Comic Relief. 

Anyway back to us being parents of the year. The morning started kind of organised for once. I went downstairs to iron my son’s shirt, my husband met me half way with a freshly ironed school shirt, I’m thinking yes we are winning at this. Now, it means that instead of me ironing, there is now more time for me to follow my husband around talking about my most profound thoughts about life, while he is rushing to eat his breakfast, pack his work stuff into the car in the hope of beating the motorway traffic. As always, this ends with him saying, “I’m really interested in what you are saying, I’m not running away but I really need to get to work. Can we talk about this later?”. Yep, I’m known in my family for talking a lot! So off he goes.

So back to the school run, everything is flowing well that morning, bag’s packed, I make sure the water bottle is in there because for some reason schools have now decided that children need to drink a gallon of water during the school day otherwise they’ll die of dehydration. For some reason, the school won’t provide said tap water and they make parents provide it. For once, that morning there was very little nagging from me about them taking too long to get their school uniform on. 

So we get to school, we’re chatting as we’re walking through the gates. This is when I noticed the first kid, dressed as a footballer. Um, I think maybe he is in the football team and is really eager to get playing. We carry on walking, turn the corner and this is when we are hit with it, a sea of kids running around shrieking and not one of them wearing their school uniform. This is when it hits me, it’s Comic Relief day and it's a non-uniform day! Then I remembered the message sent to me on the school app. I meant to add it to my calendar but I got distracted with work and forgot. My husband gets the same messages and he forgot too. 

My son and I both look at each other at the same time. I say “oh no it’s Comic Relief, it's a non-uniform day”. Then I see his face drop with the realisation that he’ll most likely be the only one in school uniform. This made my heart sink a bit, you know the feeling that no matter how small the issue, you just want to take on your child’s pain so they don’t feel it any more. So I launch into fixer mode, that’s me I’m a fixer. Thankfully, we were on the way to breakfast club, so there was still time to rush back home, get changed and get back to school in time for the main school start time. So I ask him, do you want to get changed? Straightaway I heard “YES!”. So we rushed back, he got changed and we made it back just as the school bell rang. 

Phew, we made it back just in time and averted his potential future therapy session about when the whole school laughed at him for wearing his uniform on a non-uniform day all because his parents forgot to add it to the calendar (ok, I’m probably catastrophising here but parenting is hard, it makes you think this could actually be a possibility! lol).

Adapting

You might be reading this and thinking, it’s only one day, why go all the way back home and get changed? Well years ago I would’ve totally agreed with you and I would’ve laughed at 2026 me. This is because I class myself in the same way that Jackie Hill Perry, described herself in one of her songs, as a “rebel with a conscience”. Now this has been a work in progress for me, as before I came to Christ I was just a “rebel without a cause”, I’d go against the grain just for the sake of it, which overtime became counter productive. 

So even though the initial reaction in my head, when I realised, was “It doesn’t matter because wearing non-uniform isn’t going to fix world poverty, so just wear the uniform”. I had to quickly re-frame and discard it because rather than being a “rebel without a cause”, I’m now a “rebel with a conscience”. My conscience was working alongside my empathy to adapt my thoughts and reaction to prevent the meaning of Comic Relief changing, for my son, from its true meaning. Preventing it being linked to being the only one wearing a school uniform, rather than its true meaning of trying to fight poverty. So even though this mode of expression wasn’t important to me, it was to him, so I adapted accordingly. 

Every child is different but if I hadn’t made this decision, knowing my child, this could have led to him only feeling embarrassment when he thinks about Comic Relief. This could have made him not want to think about it, and maybe not participate or donate to it in the future as an adult, therefore preventing him helping vulnerable people through this campaign.

This Comic Relief situation made me think about how we are meant to share God with people who don’t know Him at all or don't know Him well. Just like how I adapted my thoughts and therefore my reaction because I understood that wearing his normal clothes was important for my son, we should also do this when sharing Christ and the gospel with others because there isn’t just one way of sharing the power of God with people. Just like if I was taking another family member to school that day, my reaction may have been different, if they showed or said they weren’t bothered about being the only one in their school uniform.

Adapting to who you are around

In the Bible, Paul mentions adapting how he brought Christ’s message to the different people he met. He also explained why it was important for him to do this. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that when he was with Jewish people, he lived like a Jew, which included following the Jewish law, for the sole purpose of bringing them to Jesus Christ. When Paul was with anyone who wasn’t Jewish then he lived like them, not following Jewish law. Again, for the sole purpose of bringing them to Christ. 

Paul said “But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ” (1 Corinthians 9:21). This is because Jesus Christ fulfilled the Jewish laws, therefore we no longer need to follow them in order to receive salvation, which means being saved from hell when we die and saved from the lake of fire when Jesus returns to earth to judge us all. All we have to do is believe that Jesus is Lord and your saviour, believe that God is one God, made up of God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit, build a relationship with God and follow His teachings. That is what Paul meant when he said he obeys the law of Christ.

Paul knew that not having empathy and not adapting to people’s current situation or mindset, could make them reject the message of Christ and salvation, all because they couldn’t resonate with how Paul said the message or they focused on something Paul did or didn’t do. Paul realised that taking part in something that didn’t affect his integrity or salvation, was worth it if it brought people to Christ. 

“When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ” - 1 Corinthians 9:20-21

Food

As well as whether or not to follow Jewish law when around certain people, Paul also gives the example of food and bringing people to Christ. Paul tells Timothy, who was his mentee, that he will meet people along his Christian journey who will say you can’t eat certain foods, but God created those foods to be eaten. Therefore we shouldn’t reject these foods when offered it but we should receive it with thanks because we know that it is acceptable by the Word of God and then we pray over it, in Jesus name, before we eat it, in order to bless it. 

“They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain foods. But God created those foods to be eaten with thanks by faithful people who know the truth. Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. For we know it is made acceptable by the word of God and prayer” - 1 Timothy 4:3-5

“Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)” -  Mark 7:18-20

Paul also says, in the book of Romans, that if someone is really upset by what you eat because they think it is unclean, then Paul says even though Jesus declared all food clean, it is best to just not eat these foods when with this person. This is because if they are the point of being distressed, then as Christians we are no longer acting in love by eating these foods around them. Again Paul is saying don’t let the message of Christ be tainted and rejected purely because the person didn’t like what you were eating. This is because:

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” - Romans 14:17

All this is showing is that the message of God’s love and salvation, through Christ, is too important for you not to adapt to who you are around. It is important to adapt so they understand the message and don’t get distracted by other non-important things. This prevents them from rejecting the very important message of how Christ can change their lives for the better. Not doing this could mean rejection happens because the gift of Christ was explained in a way that they didn’t understand, or they can’t get over something you did or didn’t do when you were with them, that didn’t actually go against God. 

Weakness

Paul also explained that he adapted to other people’s mindsets and not just physical actions like eating food. Paul explains this when he says:

“When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings” - 1 Corinthians 9:22

Therefore it’s perfectly fine to show your vulnerability when sharing how Christ rescued you when you were at your weakest, if it helps another person who is sharing their weakness with you. This may work way better, in that particular moment, than quoting a Bible verse at them that they won’t understand because they don’t know the Bible.

Double meaning

Now Paul knew this and taught other churches and his mentees these strategies but he was heavily influenced by the master of this, who was Jesus Christ. Jesus knew how to adapt a message, but not change it, in order to make the different types of people hearing it understand it.

A key time when Jesus did this was when he was on the cross being crucified and as he hung there dying after being horrifically tortured, He cried out “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (Matthew 27:46). This is an Aramaic phrase which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”. Here Jesus is crying out to God the Father.

Now Jesus could’ve stopped His death from happening at any point, He was all powerful after all. This is shown in John 18:6 where it says “As Jesus said “I am he,” they all drew back and fell to the ground!”. The “they” in this verse are the soldiers who came to arrest Jesus so he could be crucified. The gospel of John was written in Greek, so the original scriptures write Jesus saying the phrase “Ego Ami”, which means “I am”. 

The phrase “Ego Ami” used in the Book of John is linked with God’s divine name that was revealed in Exodus 3:14. The book of Exodus was written in Hebrew and in Exodus 3:14 the word “Ehyeh” is used. The English translation for “Ehyeh” is “I am” and “YHWH” (pronounced Yahweh). “Yahweh” is the divine name that God the Father used when explaining who He was to Moses. So Jesus was showing his divinity, his Godly nature by saying he was “I AM”. His name and nature was so powerful that it made the powerful armed soldiers fall backwards to the ground, at the mere mention of it. This shows that Jesus let his tortuous death happen so scripture predicting it all could be fulfilled and generations to come could be saved.

So if Jesus had the power to stop his death, why did He cry out to God the Father for abandoning Him and not getting Him down from the cross? Well like I said earlier, Jesus, even with His dying breath, knew how to reach his mixed audience, in order to bring them to Him and the Father. At this moment, Jesus did it in one sentence, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”.

To the people watching Jesus’ crucifixion and the billions of Bible readers who will read these words over the next 2,000 years, the sentence had a double meaning, and I’d like to think that when He said it, that Jesus 100% knew that both meanings would bring people to Him. He is all knowing after all! 

Psalm 22

Jesus knew his audience, so He knew that Jewish people would be there watching his crucifixion. He also knew that Jewish people were taught to memorise their Holy book, the Torah, by the age of 12 years old. Jesus knew that by shouting out the “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”, that the Jews watching would immediately know that Jesus was quoting the first line of Psalm 22 from the Book of Psalms.

As they had memorised it they would know that the rest of the chapter was a prediction and description of Jesus actual crucifixion, from the piercing of His hands and feet, to his clothes being divided up by the roll of a dice, all of which happened on the day. They would’ve also known that Psalm 22 says that the whole earth will acknowledge the Lord and will bow down and serve Him, and future generations will be told about the Lord's wonders and righteous acts. 

The Jewish people in the crowd would’ve known that the psalm was a powerful prediction of the messiah because it is a messianic psalm, written thousands of years before Jesus' crucifixion. Then they would’ve had to connect the dots and realise that the messiah was in front of them on the cross. 

Jesus knew that to reach the Jewish people in the crowd and to make them understand who he actually was, he would have had to point them to scripture by quoting it.

"My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? [...] They have pierced my hands and feet. [...] They divide my garments among themselves and throw dice for my clothing [...] Our children will also serve him. Future generations will hear about the wonders of the Lord. His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born. They will hear about everything he has done” - Psalm 22:1, 16, 18, 30-31

Abandonment

On the other hand, that same single line served another purpose to the non-Jewish people in the crowd who didn’t know the Torah. For them hearing the line “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” would have pricked the ears of people who had felt abandoned in life by family or friends. Those that felt like no one cared about them. Those who felt that when they were at their lowest that their idols or gods, if they weren’t Jewish abandoned them. Alongside them, were those Jewish people who felt that YHWH didn’t care about them. This would’ve got the attention of those who felt abandoned or rejected in life. 

We all go through times on our Christian walk when we think, even if it’s fleeting, “God I’ve done all that you have asked me and I’m still going through this terrible thing. Why have you abandoned me?”. Jesus shouted this out to let the people in the crowd watching Him and to let you, thousands of years later, know that He knows exactly how you feel. He has felt the feeling of pain, despair, the feeling of hopelessness that you have had or are feeling right now.

The Father knew that for Jesus to take away our sins and the emotional pain that we get from the result of sin, whether it's sin we do or sinful actions that are done to us, that Jesus would too have to experience the same emotional pain from the result of sinful actions against Him. The Father knew that Jesus, God the Son, would have to come down to Earth in human form so he could feel the emotions that we feel. 

 “He saved others,” they scoffed, “but he can’t save himself!” - Matthew 27:42

Jesus would have to experience torture and suffering on the cross, physically and mentally, with the torment and and ridicule, for two reasons:

1.  So His audience, the crucifixion crowd, at that very moment understood the message and knew this was all predicted in the messianic Psalm 22. This would have led some of them to their salvation, where they would’ve gained peace through Christ and eternal life with God. 

2. So everyone would see, in three days, that God the Father didn’t abandon Him. He stopped talking to Jesus for a few hours but He didn’t abandon Jesus. When the sinful people who were influenced by Satan, finished killing Jesus, God the Father swooped in and brought him back to life making Jesus defeat death. 

He never left 

God the Father has given all authority to Jesus Christ. That means we can now speak directly to Father if we use Jesus' name. This means that no matter what you are going through, no matter how hard your life has been, no matter what you have done. God the Father, can bring you back to life just like he did with Jesus. The difference is that we don’t have to be crucified to be brought back to life. God can bring you back to life spiritually. He can give you back hope when you’ve lost it all, He can give you the courage to leave that dangerous situation. He can make things that you thought were impossible be possible, like beating that addiction, healing you of a crippling illness, whether it’s physical or mental. He can help you heal from the trauma, the rejection and abandonment in your life. Jesus can give you peace.

“At that time you won’t need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name. You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy” - John 16:23-24

God’s never left you. People were influenced by Satan to put Jesus on the cross and they used their free will to decide to do it. The Father was with His Son the whole time, even if it didn’t feel like it to Jesus. Thousands of years later, Satan still uses the same tactics and he influenced people to hurt or betray you, and they chose to do it because they have free will. Jesus was calling to them to stop hurting or betraying you but they did what they did because they chose to. God was with you for the whole time too, even when the perpetrators chose to listen to Satan and not the Lord. God was hurting with you because He is love and He is grieved by his creations being harmed by Satan’s action.

Whether they believe in Jesus Christ or not. God wants people to go from being merely His creations, who don’t believe in Him, to being His children, who believe that:

• Jesus is the Son of God, who was born and remained sinless. 

• His mother, Mary, was a virgin when he was born. 

• God the Father knew that humans would never stop sinning and needed to pay the penalty for their sins, which is death. Therefore the Father sent God the Son, Jesus Christ, to earth in human form to pay the penalty once and for all. Jesus had to die. 

• Jesus died on the cross for all our sins because the penalty for sin is death. 

• Jesus rose from the dead on the third day because He is sinless. Death could not hold him because he was sinless, so He defeated death. 

• After He rose from the dead, Jesus was seen by over 500 people over 40 days. 

• After 40 days Jesus went up to heaven where He is now seated on the right hand side of the Father. Jesus will return to earth, at a time that only God the Father knows. 

Therefore anyone who truly believes this, confesses all their sins, asks God for forgiveness and tells God that they turn away from those actions or behaviours and means it, will be forgiven and receive the free gift of eternal life when Jesus returns. God will also give them an inner peace like they have never felt before.

Try this

When you have tried “everything”,  the mediation, the “spiritual” workshops and retreats, the doomscrolling on your phone, overworking at your job, the prescription medication, the self medication of alcohol, drugs and sex. You’ve even tried church and you still feel empty, you still feel broken, you still feel angry, you feel nothing is working, you feel everyone would be better off if you weren’t here anymore. Then maybe if you look a deep look at your life you will find there is a cross-shaped hole in your life that can only be filled with a real authentic meaningful relationship with Jesus. It also means giving everything to Jesus… Yes, this means totally trusting Jesus and giving up trying to control everything! Scary, I know but it’s totally worth it. Through that you will have access to the Father and receive the Holy Spirit, who will not only guide you but comfort you and remind you that there is always light at the very long and dark tunnel because God is in the tunnel with you. He never leaves and abandons you. 

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later” - Romans 8:18

So this Easter, as we go through Holy Week and head towards the greatest day of the year which is Resurrection Sunday, remember that Jesus was scared, Jesus was hurt physically and mentally and Jesus felt abandoned, just like you, but the Father came for His son and brought Him back to life. God can do this for you too, if you let Him. God can walk in when everyone else walks out, love you, comfort you and bring you back to life spiritually. 

Also remember that Jesus said “so you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy”- John 16:22